There's Just Something About Her I Just Don't Like

Hey there ladies!

So here’s a true story: I was once having dinner with two work colleagues, including a male partner in the firm where I was working. Somehow the conversation turned to the upcoming presidential election. At the time Hillary Clinton was campaigning to be the Democratic nominee. For whatever reason, he felt obliged to tell me, “There’s just something about her I just don’t like.” I didn’t say it, but I thought to myself, “Is it that she has a vagina? And a brain?”

Have you ever experienced this kind of vaguely hostile or patronizing attitude? Not directly antagonistic, but somehow not supportive? Because I know I have. Among other things I’ve been told you’re very honest, or you’re very direct, or been advised that you catch more bees with honey.

I’ve come to realize though that this is just an insidious expression of gaslighting. The truth is that I don’t need to appease or be obsequious or subservient. I don’t need to stroke their ego. I don’t need to apologize for being strong and intelligent and I won’t. And neither should you. So be your forthright, strong self. And if there’s something about you they just don’t like, then you’re probably doing something right. Because it’s not you, it’s them.

 

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